How Meditation and Staying in the Moment Can Help You Mindfully Power Through a Breakup

When most guys think meditation, they think monks clad in dark red robes, perched crosslegged in a mountainous pagoda. 

The benefits of a meditative mind and staying in the moment don’t have to be relegated to those seeking enlightenment. Meditating for as little as 5 minutes a day can have a profound impact on your life.

Particularly, if you’re coming off of a breakup, it pays to keep a clear, focused, and present mind. After my divorce, there were a plethora of thoughts rapidly flowing through my head at any given time.

“Will I ever find a life companion? Oh, there’s another picture of Steve’s new baby…I’m so far behind all my friends. All the great girls are married by now. Are there any cool single girls left?” 

Those toxic thoughts can tend to get out of control and breed anxiety. The more you worry about a slew of potential problems(that will likely never be a big deal anyways), the more it drives you away from a positive, productive mindset.

So, I started reading more and more about meditation and its benefits for calming this frantic “monkey mind” that is prevalent in western culture. Think of MM as that feeling when you’re laying in bed, tossing and turning, thinking about so much that you can’t even get your ever-important rest for the night.

To combat the monkey, I downloaded a simple meditation app that can guide you through 5, 10, or 20 minute meditations. After starting out doing a 5 minute session each morning I was hooked.

I then stepped my game up to Transcendental Meditation, a practice that my father used to teach as he traveled the country in the 70’s. I’ll admit, I was a little skeptical at first, but after having gone through the training, I truly admired the simplicity of this method.

Now, having incorporated meditation into my life for about the past year, I look back realizing what an effective tool it can be for a guy looking to get over his ex.

Here’s why I think it’s so important to incorporate this into your daily routine as you rebuild after a breakup.

·      Nothing can touch you when you’re in the moment –When you keep yourself in the present moment, nothing from the past or future can bother you. Right now, is all that matters. Concerns of how your relationship went wrong or what your future dating life holds are insignificant. You focus on your life, in the now, and nothing else matters.

·      Cool like the other side of the pillow - It’s hard to describe, but after a successful meditation session, you build this calming sense of confidence. You walk down the street with a subtle smile and a quiet, casual swagger. There are very few worries and everything slows down and just flows. It’s a great feeling of controlled peace when the rest of the world is feeling pretty chaotic

·      Focus on the little things  - Like Ferris Bueller once said; “Life happens pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it.” Meditation brings you into the current moment. You notice the small sounds around you, feel the breeze gently grazing your skin, and the smell of cut grass becomes that much more aromatic. When you can take time to absorb and appreciate the simple beauties of everything around you, the bigger “issues” you’re facing seem a lot less stressful.

My recommendation would be to give it a try with an open mind. Just like healthy eating and exercise, meditation should be a major consideration when revamping your lifestyle in a positive direction.  

I swear if you could bottle up the benefits of this mindfulness practice and sell it at CVS, you’d be a kagillionaire. But, until I figure that out, I’ll be spending at least ten minutes a day sitting peacefully, observing my thoughts, and reaping the benefits of a calm and confident mind.

his post originally appeared on AskMen